Boys and Girls

I loved the movie "When Harry Met Sally" What a romantic comedy classic. It was funny as hell and quite insightful too. That's what made it a great movie.

Now, when Harry said to Sally in one of the scenes, "Guys can't be friends with girls because there's this sex thing that's always there." I thought then, hey absolutely true. That was 10 yrs. ago.

I have changed my thinking on that 'rule' or description. I now know and hang out with 3 wonderful women all of whom have boyfriends and I am happy for them and for me too. I know that this is not very manly of me to say but I have come to the conclusion that I am happy when my gal friends are happy. I appreciate and enjoy them no matter what. I don't have to be the top dog. That's ego not love. Love is rare. Ego is common. Everyone has ego. Takes a real man or woman to love. Love is selfless. Love has no ego. Ego also breeds jealousy. Jealousy is weak. It's ugly too.

Mind you, I choose my gal friends very carefully. 1) They can not be fat. I know. It's harsh but that's a rule for me. This means precisely, no fat tummy and no fat ass. Men, especially me a dandy, I need good visuals. I see ugly everwhere and I don't want to see it by choice.. only by chance. Hey, btw, I'm not perfect either. [ACTUALLY, let me NOT be so diplomatic here but real. There is a reason why thin models get paid more than fat models by like a million times for fck sake! We're all superficial! Girls, Al Sharpton or Christian Beale? Done.]; 2) They have to be pretty. No more needs to be said; 3) They must be fun but no drama. Afterall, I just want to have a good time and drama is selfish bullshit and I don't have the patience for it; 4) They must be stylish. It shows individuality. I don't want to be around people who have no taste or became lazy with the way they look. Funny. So far, this actually is in general, the kind of friends that I am friends with. Gal or guy. Of course, in case of a guy, instead of pretty, it's got to be handsome or cute; 5) They must be able to hang out after midnight at least once, twice a week. Can you imagine how boring someone who is young without kids will be like when they're older and married if they can't be a free spirit before marriage?! Kids, mini van, soccer practice, so much fckn routine. This applies to both prospective gal pals and girl friends and excludes college years when everyone got wasted and hung out past midnight. Herding, not individuating.

Now, don't get me wrong. If I were ever to get married and have kids, going out after midnight would be like once every 2 months (max) and I won't mind the soccer practice etc. Life changes then and that's good. But I can never be with someone who I know who would never be able to say to me, "honey, the kids are asleep. Let's sneak out and have some fun tonight. You and me honey. Like the old days. I love you."

Anyway, back to my main theme. I am happier to be friends with girls who are exceptional and I respect their situation. It's actually less pressure. I have had 4 serious girl friends and averaged 3 yrs. each. All were beautiful. Like magazine cover beautiful. It was like mini marriages. So, I have a taste of marriage (aka serious relationships). I'm glad I had sex with them but after about 6 months, sex is not the most important thing. What matters most is who they are and how I like them. So, sure, I'll get married some day. I hope. With someone that I can never be bored of and my heart and experience will tell me that.

Sex is important but sex should never get in the way of having a wonderful relationship. Relationships are more important than sex. So many people end up with boyfriends girlfriends on the basis of sex and years down the road think, "Oops I did it again. Now what do I do? I'm older and the botox isn't working anymore :()!"

So, Harry was wrong. He was only thinking with his penis not his heart. I guess 'When Harry Met Sally' was not only a comedy but a tragedy. Harry would have had a much more meaningful and fun time in the long run if he left his penis out of the equation. He gave up the long term for the short term. I think that 95% of boys and girls do.