Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Form

This will be a stream of consciouness on this topic. But I have been incubating this thought all day and I need to be rid of it :().

Blackberry, etal: 1) Do not be a worker ant and pull it out while one is walking across the street. It's what desperate worker ants do; 2) Do not pull it out when one is having a conversation. It's rude! and des classe; 3) Do not check it every 5 mins. (every half an hour OK), unless, one's livelihood depends on it like a thread. How sad.

Bathroom Break: Do not say, "I have to go pee." Just say, "Excuse me" and leave and come back.

Jokes: Never laugh at one's own joke(s). It's too self congratulatory and middle class.

Clothes: Always get them tailored. Tidy up.

Shoes: Never wear something that takes more than 5 mins. to break it in. In Summer, never wear flip flops unless one is on sand or near a body of water (preferablly, near the Meditteranean) and NEVER on concrete (OK: heels, flats, espadrilles, sandles). For the gentleman, shoe trees at home always, and never purchase a sole that is thicker than half an inch. One is driven, not walked.

Shirts: For gentlemen: Always collared and never a pocket. One does not take notes, others take notes.

Watches: Never quartz. It's cheating. Must always be Swiss crafted. Blancpain, Vacheron, Breugeut.

Date(s): Gentleman: Always pay the whole thing even when one knows that it's a loss from the beginning. Ladies: Gesture to pay.

Drinks: Ladies: Keep up with the gentleman. And if the gentleman, per chance, blacksout before you do (happened to me twice in 3 yrs.), discreetly, offer him another drink or narcotics.

Taxi: Gentleman always opens the door and never lets the lady walk more than 4 blocks.

Bring it on!