Sunday, January 18, 2009

New Winter Olympic Sport-- Plane Ditching

Requirements: One commercial/passenger dual engine aircraft; either Boeing or Airbus. At least 155 passengers in all including, staff, patrons, and infants. Must have at least 3 infants and 5 elderly people.

Method: Bird, birds, or flock of birds: alive, sucked into the engines at no more than 10,000 ft. altitude. Both engines must explode in midair. Land on river adjacent to a city with no less than 8 million inhabitants. 5 mins. maximum time alotted for the exercise.

Difficulty: Increases with: 1) number of passengers above 155, especially infants and drag queens; 2) # of casualties (zero is better than 100 casualties. Hey, it's the Olympics, a family show); 3) # of people who throw their red cross blankets off before they are recovered by a ferry who say, "I'm going to Disneyworld!"

Point System: Maximum 10 pts. Just like in Gymnastics.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

A rather too serious event about which to take such a light (one might say frivolous) tone.

dandyinthecity said...

Think George Carlin. Irreverent humour. No one died or were even hurt. This is an homage to Sully, the pilot. It's a celebration in fact.