Hopefully, this will be one of my last comments, if not the last comment, about facebook. As you know I joined FB last Thursday after 3 years of resisting MySpace and Facebook. I resisted because everyone was on it. But, now, I joined it because everyone (save Pierce) is on it. Makes sense, no? It's a nice, passive way to have a window into the lives of my nonblogging friends. I still find it, as I expected, a plebian and sophomoric site. It's basically for kids. Very puerile. But I didn't want to be out of touch or feel like a Luddite. As Jason Bateman in American Psycho said, "I want to fit in." So, there you go.
Anyway, I've been on it about 3 times a day :(). It's still a new toy for me and I like playing with it. I plan to ease off on it by this weekend when the novelty wears off as all new novelties wear off on me (except, exceptional new friends).
So, yesterday, I sent an email request via FB to a gal pal of mine who I know fairly well and have a good friendly relationship with (I see her at least twice a week) to change her profile picture. Because 1) she looked like some biker chick and 2) when displayed on my 'friends' thumbnails, only her ass shows up. I suggested that she update her picture that more appropriately reflects her age and elegance. And I emailed her via FB vs. posting it on her wall which can be viewed by the public. I was discreet and I also thought that it was a reasonable corrective request.
What's the response I get? "Freddy, I've been meaning to. But How dare you?! Perhaps, Facebook is not a good thing for you to have." Note: She, nevertheless, changed her picture profile. I was shocked. I thought, hmmm, was I being an ass? Was my tone assholish? So, I reviewed the message that I sent. It said, "_____, can you change your profile picture? You are more elegant than what is reflected on your profile pic. You look like a biker chick." Well, perhaps, I should have left off the biker chick part. But overall, I thought that the message was reasonable and innocuous.
So, I was alittle bit hurt. To those who know me, I'm actually one of the nicest guys there is. I have a big heart and I even sometimes cry when I watch CNN and see the people in Africa sucking on rock for dinner.
Pursuant to her response, I sent her 2 emails to apologize and to let her know that I meant no insult or harm and promised to be more nice. But in return, that she grow a tougher skin.
Personally, as I've stated (blogged) earlier, a few months ago, I welcome constructive criticisms as long as they are reasonable, true, nonmalicious, and nonselfish. For I feel that I am a better me when someone, especially, those who I have known and know me pretty well take the time to correct me. Because I know that they are correcting me out of love. But it appears that some people can't handle any corrections.
Frankly, sometimes I correct my friends when it's appropriate, when a flaw emerges, to see how they handle criticism. It's a test in a way. It gives me a glimpse into their character, their core, so to speak. It's a test of character. I don't want to be around weak people. I like people with healthy ego, self esteem, and vitality.
Case in point, Barbie has corrected me as a friend on a few occassions when I misspelled things, etc. Very minor stuff. But I welcomed it. Conversely, a year ago, when she gained a few pounds (which is rare) and I didn't say anything until she lost it, she told me, "Freddy, I want you to tell me when I gained weight." Now, obviously, I'm not (never) gonna go there :). But I liked her openness and her inner strength for saying that. That showed me character.
I want to be a nice guy all of the time. But I don't want to be a nice guy all of the time. So help me god.
[P.S. All is well that ends well. She emailed me back after reading my follow up emails and apologied for her over reaction. Apparently, one of her friends yesterday was picking on her about something and when she woke up this morning and saw my message, it was just bad timing. So, she is open to suggestions/corrections. Cool.]
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6 comments:
You're sooo telling me if I gain weight again. You're the only person I can trust.
btw, I'm eating cheez-it's as an appetizer before dinner as I write. I'm disgusting:)
Shane, I am simply, a patient wolf. A gentleman. Albeit, a bucaneer when aroused. But never a slut. Thank you.
I thought HRH meant Barbie was a slut.
You shouldn't have said it. You thought the picture reflected unfavorably on YOU, so you asked her to change it. (In a rather coarse way.) You shouldn't have. It was not gentlemanly.
I could give you a list of dozens, quite possibly thousands of highly respectable people I know who are not on facebook.
And the list of d-bags who ARE on it might bbe even longer.
Pierce, FB is the child in me and I luv it. It's easier than communicating with friends by postal mail albeit not as elegant.
The thing that's good about Facebook is that the other social networking site we're all on - aSW - is so restricted to who can and can't join that we must join another one to create connections with everyone who can't be on aSW.
Yeah, aSW is pretty much useless. I havent been on it in months.
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