Doing Absolutely Nothing

"May I introduce to you, my friend, Lord Kwon, the idlest man in Manhattan." I have told some of my friends that this would be the highest level of introduction for me and I would totally adore that introduction. It is actually, and most likely, not untrue for those who know me. My life is equally divided between work (when I have to), sleep, and sloth (sloth includes texting with my friends, hanging out at Bungalow, writing blogs from time to time. In a nutshell, leisure).

I hate the obligation of busyness (business?). I hate the obligation of productivity and industry. I like to be a sovereign of my own time and decisions. Today, more than ever, we are all under the tyranny of obligations. Obligation 1) Work- generally, this is appx 10 hrs. of one's day. After 7 hours of sleep, one only has 7 hours left to oneself and the remaining 7 hours after daily upkeep like grooming, eating, errands, and miscellaneous, one has very little time for doing absolutely nothing; 2) Social- with more friends one increases the chance of disappointing them or oneself. It's also a burden to harmonize with one and all. It's quite stressful and strenuous. I prefer to have less than 5-7 great friends. I prefer to be known for my great taste and judgment vs. quantity of my friends. All of my friends are exceptional. Attractive, intelligent, loyal, quirky, fun, and have fantastic tastes (and of course, get into any exclusive club-- which is important-- that is, the ability to out rank others). I have, however, separated from a few in the past when we grew apart. I will cherish the memories but I will not miss them. To thineself be true; and 3) Expectations-- One needs to live free without the obligation and the expectation of a 'should' placed at the doorsteps of one's own house by strangers! Expect nothing from me nor demand that I should do this and that, I live for myself and for those I care for. Period.

I enjoy doing absolutely nothing. This is one of the only activity that makes me feel free, alive, and rejuvenated. The other 2 are when I am with friends having a great conversation or just fun in a great atmosphere or if I were to have a hobby (e.g. making art which I used to-- pastels, poems, aphorisms) and being totally in the zone. Sex? Well, yes, but after a few months with the same person, the excitement naturally wears off, so that's more ephemeral and therefore, less distinguished for me. Actually, I am alittle apprehensive of sex, girlfriends etc. because it'll become an eventual burden unless the gal is divinely unique.

Doing absolutely nothing takes balls. Balls to say, "yeah, I have been completely unproductive today" and potentially get the facetious response of "oh, that's great" from someone who totally thinks that you are a loser for not having accomplished anything that day just being lazy. It's so unamerican to be so unproductive! But you see, I like being lazy. It keeps me from going insane from being over obligated and consumed by endlessly prostituting my brain, energy, and youth to things that are not my priorities. My priority in life is gaining wisdom, obtaining serenity, a peace of mind, and happiness. Activities besides the ones that I mentioned that I enjoy don't do anything for me. Like going to Central Park and laying down and people watching on the Great Lawn, having brunch with people, going to birthday parties,... none of these things mean that much to me. It's herding. It's group grazing. It adds nothing to my life. Albeit from time to time, I like doing it because I'm with friends and a part of their lives. Afterall, one should strive for some balance. Total anything, selfishness or selflessness is a sign of a cripple.

But the ultimate test of my sovergnty and where I feel like I am somewhat in control of my life is when I choose to do absolutely nothing. I believe that without leisure and indolence there is no time for inspiration and true achievements. I gestate my own greatness to be realized at an appropriate time when I allow room for myself and cultivate me. Activities and obligations rarely add to who or what I am but only supplies the veneer of productivity. This is consistent with the Tao and Siddharta's last temptation (that of princely obligation to his subjects while he medidated 'selfishly' under the tree journeying into himself to find himself. So, I go offense on this not defense. "It takes character to endure the rigours of indolence!"- Wilde

Post Script-- ALTHOUGH, I must admit that some positive activities and hobbies won't break the bank either and that I should put some more structure to my life towards this end. Afterall, routines become habits and habits can be self fulfilling destiny, and without some goals and milestones, indolence alone would lead to nothing but postponements until death arrives-- when any achievements hereto in gestation would go to nought. So, indolence can be good if confidently placed and smartly paced but may also be malign if it is out of control. But I also know that I do not have a busy nature nor the psychological need to be busy like so many of our city dolls today and that I am more a creature of leisure than a busy bee booked for the rest of the month for brunchs, parks, birthday parties, and other similar self enforced obligations. This is abit of a conundrum.